ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.