Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
god, I love you
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie