My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Be still, my beating vagina.
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he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
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I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.