Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
