the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
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I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
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We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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