I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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