Im at strip club and am horny
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
