She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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