That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just had sex on a roof
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
