Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
