Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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