normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
