Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
