And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
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The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
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I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
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