I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Randomize
