She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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