Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
