john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
