do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
