he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
