i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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