At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
