Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize