You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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