How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
