Swine flu. Run for my life!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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