We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
