I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
my liver is dry heaving
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
