i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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