I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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