Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It's shark week go big or go home
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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