shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
