After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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