I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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