you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I cut my penus on the lid.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
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He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
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One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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