I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
