i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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