so that wasnt chicken after all
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
