hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
