The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
