I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
my liver is dry heaving
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
