Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize