you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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