just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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