Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
