So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
