How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
