That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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