what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
