it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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