i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
