my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
