I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Never let your siblings swipe right.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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