About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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