She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
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I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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