I got chris browned last night
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
