I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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