Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
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I intend to get homeless drunk
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I need a beard to bite.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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