going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
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He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
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Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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