do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
