hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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