ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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