I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
