the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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