At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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