come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize