Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
