There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
