Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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