i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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